As a relationship coach with over 15 years of experience counseling hundreds of married couples, I’ve seen both the incredible highs and challenging lows of marriage. I’ve been there myself too – while my own marriage has had its share of tests, it has lasted over 20 years.
The reality is all marriages go through ups and downs. When things get difficult, it’s crucial not to lose sight of the love and commitment you initially felt. The good news is – no matter what challenges you currently face, there are simple, effective ways to strengthen your bond every single day.
Incorporating even a few of these 10 little daily practices can make a world of difference in keeping your relationship passionate and fulfilling for decades to come.
1. Say Good Morning and Goodbye
It may sound simple, but taking a moment to acknowledge each other first thing in the morning and before parting ways for the day is hugely impactful. As one spouse I counseled put it, “Not saying good morning makes me feel invisible – like an afterthought.” Similarly, saying a warm goodbye reminds your partner they are valued.
Storming off without a word can cause the other person to feel abandoned and resentful, casting negativity onto the rest of their day. So take just a few seconds to connect – it sets a positive tone as you both go about your business.
2. Enjoy Your Coffee Together
Sitting together leisurely over coffee or tea is a pleasure most couples rarely make time for, especially once the responsibilities of careers and kids pile up. But those 10-15 minutes of quality connection are so important, which is why I advise all my clients to wake up 10 minutes early to enjoy their coffee together.
More than a mere breakfast drink, this morning ritual builds intimacy and eases you both compassionately into the day ahead. The tone of togetherness, understanding and warmth this simple act fosters truly makes all the difference.
3. Compliment Each Other
It astonishes me how often spouses forget to outwardly appreciate each other – especially once familiarity sets in. But words of affirmation are like food and water for relationships. Reminding your partner what you cherish about them through sincere compliments makes them feel seen and valued.
And the benefit is two-fold, as expressing gratitude also boosts your own spirits and reminds you both why you fell in love. So notice what your partner does well – whether it’s little things like making a good cup of coffee, or bigger qualities like their patience, humor or devotion to your kids. Then let them know out loud!
4. Release Any Lingering Upsets
It’s tempting to suppress frustrations with your spouse, or even pretend nothing’s wrong in order to keep the peace. But unresolved upsets or lingering resentments that fester underneath the surface will slowly erode your bond over time.
That’s why I coach all couples to briefly check in on any disappointments first thing in the morning. For just 5 minutes, openly yet compassionately share if anything’s bothering you, then actively listen as your partner does the same. Releasing tensions prevents them from secretly mounting all day long, plus builds trust and intimacy through vulnerability.
5. Make Eye Contact
When’s the last time you really looked deeply into each other’s eyes? During the excitement of early romance, intense eye gazing comes naturally. But as daily stresses and distractions mount, this tender way of connecting often falls by the wayside.
Taking even just 1-2 minutes to gently gaze into your partner’s eyes, preferably first thing in the morning, has an instantly soothing and bonding effect. You don’t need to force a conversation or have any agenda. Simply allow yourself to get lost in their eyes, noticing little flecks and details you forgot were there. This simple ritual reconnects you to the safety and acceptance of true intimacy.
6. Share Laughter
They say laughter is the best medicine, which is why I encourage all couples to make a point of amusing each other whenever possible. Funny YouTube videos, goofy jokes whispered in bed, silly faces across the dinner table – whatever elicits real belly laughs! Laughter relieves stress, lightens negative emotions, and reminds you both that your marriage can be sheer fun.
Set an intention each day to make your partner chuckle at least once. Not only will your own mood improve too, you’ll strengthen fondness and friendship – which are foundations for lasting romance.
7. Prioritize Together Time
Between work demands, household duties, childrearing responsibilities and jam-packed social calendars, spending intentional one-on-one time together is often the first thing to fall by the wayside for couples. But it’s truly essential glue for keeping your bond strong.
So get creative about stealing moments as a duo – even little windows like having a candlelit bath together at day’s end or sitting out under the stars before bed. Escape for picnic lunch dates instead of always meeting friends. Schedule coveted weekends away sans kids whenever possible. Prioritizing couple time confirms you still cherish just being together.
8. Reconnect Physically
While emotional intimacy is vital for marriages to thrive, let’s not overlook the important role physical intimacy also plays long-term. Yet this area often suffers the most neglect as years go by, in favor of other pressing priorities. However, romantic and sexual connection serves a crucial need for bonded pairs.
So flirt more, hold hands whenever you walk side by side, be generous with hugs, surprise your partner with frisky texts, and carve out adult time between the sheets. Couples who keep their sex lives flaming passionately through all of life’s ups and downs share an invaluable source of pleasure and vitality.
9. Reminisce Over Past Memories
As stressful current realities occupy more mental bandwidth, fond memories of all you’ve shared together often fade into the background for busy couples. Yet recalling sentimental moments helps you both access the positive feelings that drew you together originally.
Set aside 10 minutes here and there to flip through old photo albums and laugh over funny mishaps you’d nearly forgotten. Share nostalgic tidbits from your dating days or early married years and remember what it felt like to fall in love. These sweet recollections reinforce why you chose each other in the first place.
10. Verbalize Your Commitment
No matter how long you’ve been married, regularly voicing your dedication reassures you both that your relationship will continue growing deeper and stronger for years ahead. These statements of conviction remind you that despite unavoidable conflicts and external stressors, your partnership remains a top priority – one worth nurturing daily.
Phrase it something like this: “I know life is crazy right now while we get this new business running, but I want you to know nothing is more important than our marriage. I’m in this with you for the long run – no matter what ups and downs come our way. I love you more every year.” Hearing and articulating loyalty helps cement an unshakable foundation.
When both individuals proactively invest through tiny conscious acts of love every single day, I’ve seen the most challenged marriages transform. Moments matter more than you realize. So if connections with your partner have wavered lately, implementing even a couple of these 10 simple practices promises to reignite affection. You really can build the thriving marriage of your dreams by strengthening your bond daily.