As a relationship coach with over 15 years of experience counseling couples, I have seen firsthand the power of absence. When we miss someone, our fondness and longing for them grows. That’s why learning how to make him miss you is such a valuable skill in dating and relationships.
In my practice, I have found that the urge to always be available and the fear of giving someone too much space are common issues many of my clients face. However, finding the right balance is key for a healthy and thriving relationship.
In this comprehensive guide, I will share proven tips and psychological tricks based on male psychology to make any man miss you like crazy. Whether it’s your boyfriend, a new date, or even an ex, these techniques will have him longing for you in no time.
Why Making Him Miss You Matters
As humans, we often don’t fully appreciate what we have until it’s gone. This applies to relationships too. When we get too comfortable and taking our partner for granted, the passion and excitement can fade.
That’s why bringing back that sense of longing and curiosity is so important for keeping the spark alive. When you make yourself a little less available, you remain a bit mysterious to him. This triggers his natural chase instincts and has him working harder for your attention.
Absence also makes the heart grow fonder. When you give him space to miss you, it allows his feelings toward you to deepen. He’ll be reminded of how much he enjoys being with you and the special moments you share.
Ultimately, making him miss you is about creating balance and not letting the relationship get stale. It keeps him on his toes while also giving yourself room to focus on your own goals and self-care.
Tips to Make Him Miss You
Here are my top proven tips for making him miss you like crazy:
1. Don’t Be Too Available
This may sound counterintuitive, but always being available is one of the fastest ways to kill the passion in a relationship. When he can access you anytime, you become a predictable constant in his life rather than an exciting bonus.
Instead of instantly replying to his texts and calls, incorporate some strategic waiting periods. Let at least a couple of hours pass before getting back to him (with reasonable exceptions, of course).
Stay busy focusing on your own hobbies, friends, and interests. You want to avoid sitting by the phone, anxiously waiting for it to ring. The more you have going on in your own fulfilling life, the more interested he’ll be.
2. Make Every Interaction Memorable
The time you do spend together should feel meaningful. Have thoughtful discussions about your dreams, passions, values and anything else that creates a deeper bond.
Make a point of trying new activities together as well like dance classes, concerts or weekend trips. The more positive memories you build together, the more he’ll associate you with good times and enjoyment.
Those moments will be etched into his mind even when you’re apart, making him wish he could relive them.
3. Leave a Signature Trace
Find little ways of leaving a unique personal signature or reminder of you behind. For many people this takes the form of a signature scent. Studies show scent has powerful ties to memory.
So start wearing one perfume every time you see him. Before long his brain will start associating that smell with you. Even when you’re not around, catching a whiff of it will trigger fond thoughts and make him miss you.
Other signature traces could be a phrase you frequently use, your go-to emojis, or even leaving bobby pins at his place.
4. Make Him Feel Needed
Men have a deep biological drive to feel essential and heroic to the woman in their life. I call this the hero instinct. Awakening this instinct is wildly powerful when it comes to winning a man’s attention, devotion and commitment.
Look for little ways of making him feel useful and depended on. Ask his advice about something that’s bothering you or have him help you fix or build something.
Compliment him on areas you admire like his strength, intelligence or work ethic. These small gestures feed into his hero drive and make him see you as his perfect romantic counterpart.
5. Don’t Be Too Eager or Needy
It’s understandable to get excited in the early stages of dating and want to spend all your time with him. But giving into this urge too quickly can suggest desperation and neediness – major turn-offs for most men.
Don’t overwhelm him with constant check-ins about his day or blow up his phone with too many texts. And avoid cancelling existing plans or dropping everything as soon as he calls.
By being just slightly less available and eager, you create a bit of healthy distance while also demonstrating you have a full, independent life of your own. This is way more attractive than someone who revolves their whole world around him.
6. Occasionally Induce Jealousy
A little jealousy goes a long way when trying to make a guy miss you. Notice I said a little – you never want to go overboard and make him feel totally insecure.
But giving him the occasional reminder that he has competition for your affections can light a fire under him. Flirt harmlessly with the bartender while he watches. Laugh enthusiastically at another man’s jokes. Casually mention the new male neighbor who helped you carry groceries inside.
These small actions trigger his possessive caveman instincts. He’ll start working overtime to make sure you only have eyes for him.
7. Leave Things “Accidentally” Behind
Here’s another great excuse to spark those fond memories. The next time you spend the night, conveniently forget a little memento like a hair clip, hand cream or even a t-shirt.
When he stumbles on those items later, you’ll spring instantly back to mind. He’ll be reminded of the fun time you shared and wish you were there again with him.
This works especially well in newer relationships when you’re still in that exciting, passionate honeymoon period. But use it sparingly – you don’t want him thinking you’re absent-minded or messy!
Making Long Distance Work
Maintaining fire and chemistry in a long distance relationship brings its own unique struggles. When you rarely get to see each other in person, making him miss you is both more challenging yet also more critical.
Here are some tailored tips for long distance couples:
1. Schedule Video Chat Dates
While texting or the occasional phone call might seem easier, make sure you also have regular video chat dates. Actually being able to see each other makes a world of difference when it comes to strengthening intimacy from afar.
Set up fun, creative variants too like a virtual cooking class, movie night or game night. This gives you shared activities to bond over and look forward to.
2. Mail Thoughtful Care Packages
Snail mail might sound outdated but receiving personalized mail has a nostalgic charm that email can’t replace.
Send him care packages with inside jokes referencing your time together, his favorite snacks or book you know he’d like. These physical reminders of you will touch him deeply and have him wishing you lived closer.
3. Have a Countdown
If possible, always have your next in-person visit lined up – even if it’s months away. Having a countdown gives you a concrete light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.
Mark it prominently on both your calendars and reference the special trip you have in store. Thinking ahead about the passionate reunion on the horizon will make the present-day distance more bearable.
Making an Ex Miss You
Rekindling romantic feelings with an ex is tricky but can absolutely be done by leveraging absence. Just be very careful not to come across overly needy or bitter since that will usually backfire.
Here are some healthy tips for making an ex-boyfriend miss you:
1. Cut Contact
This might be hard to stick to but it’s necessary for making an ex miss you. Resist the urge to check in on him via text or social media.
Give him plenty of space to genuinely experience life without you. If you vanished from his radar this suddenly, it’s guaranteed to spark longing and curiosity after some time passes.
2. Act Unfazed
If you do bump into him or have a mutual friend relaying info, seem happy as can be. Laugh, smile. Don’t vent about the relationship ending.
Seeing you unbothered and even flourishing will trigger his competitor instincts. He’ll wonder why you don’t seem to need him anymore and even question if you’re dating other guys now.
3. Post Fabulous Photos
Assuming you parted on decent terms, maintaining some social media presence can work to your advantage.
Occasionally post pictures looking gorgeous and surrounded by friends. Show snapshots having the time of your life traveling or taking up exciting new hobbies.
Seeing all you have going on without him in the picture will definitely make him miss what you once shared.
Make Him Miss You Starting Today
While making someone miss you does require some strategic effort, the payoff is well worth it. Bringing that sense of longing and curiosity back into your partnership strengthens the bond tremendously.
Rather than taking your connection for granted, you’ll both be reminded of how precious and meaningful it is. And that renewed sense of passion and appreciation can make your relationship feel brand new again.
Hopefully this guide has equipped you with plenty of psychological tricks and tips for making him miss you just the right amount. Now get out there and have fun seeing just how crazy he’ll go longing for you!