As a relationship coach with over 15 years of experience counseling couples, I’ve seen firsthand how difficult it can be for spouses to find time for each other once the chaos of daily life sets in. Mornings often feel too rushed – just trying to get the kids fed, dressed, and off to school can take up those precious hours before work. However, I’ve also witnessed incredible transformations when couples purposefully shift their morning habits to include one another.
Spending intentional time with your spouse first thing in the morning, even just 15-20 minutes, can set the tone for your whole day together. When you prioritize each other before tackling your endless to-do lists, you reinforce that your relationship matters. I’ve advised countless clients to start their day by reconnecting with their spouse in fun, meaningful ways, and they often return remarking how much happier and more bonded they feel.
If you currently pass like ships in the night before rushing out the door, I encourage you to give some of these ideas a try…
Wake Up Together
This may sound simple but synchronizing your wake-up time is powerful. When you consciously decide to start your days together rather than having one spouse wake up hours before the other, intimacy gets a chance to blossom. Even if you don’t have time for a long conversation, those first moments waking up next to your beloved can be precious. One easy way couples I advise build this habit is by positioning your alarm clock strategically so it wakes you both. Reach over first thing to hold hands, kiss each other’s forehead, and ease into the day side-by-side before diving into busyness.
Pray or Meditate Side-by-Side
Carving out 5-10 minutes for spiritual centering in tandem does wonders for unity and connection, as numerous clients have shared with me. Try beginning with prayer as you hold hands, taking turns to voice gratitude for your blessings and inviting God into your day. If prayer isn’t your thing, sit comfortably and breathe deeply together for a few quiet minutes to steady yourselves for the day. I especially love when couples combine this practice with reading an inspiring devotional, taking to heart how you can love and support each other better. Even on the most chaotic mornings, this act of stillness and intention really seems to carry my clients through.
Enjoy Breakfast Together
Sharing a morning meal may sound basic but it can work magic when prioritized. While one spouse gets breakfast on the table, the other can wake and prep kids for school so you’ll be ready to all sit down together, devices off. Over your oatmeal, yogurt and fruit or whole grain toast, update each other on your schedules, to-do lists and anything else to sync up your days. Laugh over a funny meme or video you come across, and linger over your steaming mugs of coffee or tea to enjoy being family. Couples I coach who build this small habit report feeling more connected to both spouse and kids the rest of the day.
Get Moving Together
Whether it’s taking the kids for a walk around the block before school or knocking out a home workout video together, getting your blood pumping early in the day does wonders for your oxytocin and happiness levels. It also combats inertia and helps you both feel vibrant. If possible, build in 10-15 minutes for exercise most mornings. Put on an upbeat playlist you both enjoy and challenge each other to a silly dance-off or planks contest! Laughter truly is the best medicine for your relationship.
Steal Some One-on-One Time
I realize some mornings allow more flexibility than others thanks to kids’ school schedules, jobs etc. If yours tend to be very rushed, talk with your spouse about any windows you consistently find where you might plug in 5 minutes of exclusively one-on-one time. It could be while you linger in the driveway after dropping the kids at school, the 10 minutes the coffee’s brewing before your spouse leaves for work, or even hiding out in the bathroom together to “talk.” Yes – they may seem strange suggestions but when mornings are crammed, sometimes you just have to get creative! Even 60 seconds of undivided attention on each other without interruption can ignite romance.
Shower Together
This intimate habit reaps big rewards for the couples I counsel yet requires little time investment. As you wash each other’s hair, massage tight shoulders under streams of steamy water and engage in light flirting, stress melts away. It’s also an opportune time for talking more deeply, processing last night’s dreams, airing concerns and reminding each other of your unwavering love. Intentionally save a few minutes to linger under the cascades and you’ll be amazed how the rest of your day flows sweeter.
Leave Love Notes
Before parting ways for the workday, take a moment to write a short loving message for your partner to discover later. Tuck the note somewhere they’ll find it like inside their wallet or posted to the bathroom mirror. Express your heartfelt appreciation or encouragement, maybe including an inside joke that’ll make them smile. When my clients incorporate this ritual into their morning routines, they return eager to tell me how supported they felt when the note surfaced mid-day, reminding them of their beloved’s care.
The reality is mornings will probably always feel rushed on some level when you have young kids or demanding jobs. But implementing even one small habit like those above can vastly improve intimacy and happiness in your marriage. When you prioritize unity first thing rather than scrambling onto the hamster wheel of school drop-offs, packed workdays and driving to after-school activities, your relationship stops feeling like an afterthought. Instead of barely catching up at the end of exhausting days, you’re filling each other’s cups at the beginning and affirming your commitment to nurture fondness.
If you currently struggle to connect meaningfully AM, try just one quick habit this week like a kiss goodbye with hug, love note or prayer side-by-side and assess the difference you feel in your bond. Then build from there till you have a simple routine that consistently works for both of you. When you cement tiny rituals guaranteed to spark closeness despite insane schedules, you’ll be amazed how your marital friendship can deepen over time. Little things done daily with intention have tremendous power. You can choose love amid chaos, together.
