As a relationship coach with over 15 years of experience counseling couples, I’ve heard the question “How do I make him chase me?” more times than I can count.
I understand the desire to feel pursued in a relationship. There’s something romantic about a partner who actively works to win your affection. It makes you feel valued and reassured they want to keep you around.
The truth is… men enjoy chasing women who intrigue them. But many women struggle to inspire that thrilling “chase.” They either don’t know how to activate their partner’s pursuit mode or have been chasing him instead.
I’ve made it my mission as a relationship expert to teach women science-backed techniques guaranteed to have any man chasing you relentlessly. After advising hundreds of clients and studying male psychology for years, I’ve developed proven strategies that create intoxicating feelings of desire and excitement.
So if you’re tired of chasing men or trying to convince a guy to commit, listen up! Here are my top 15 tips to make him not just chase you… but fall head over heels in love while he does:
Why Make Him Chase You In The First Place?
Before diving into the tactical stuff, let’s talk about why you want a man to chase you and what he gains from the experience. Understanding these basics sets the foundation for activating his primeval hunter instincts successfully.
The Thrill Of The Chase Is Irresistible For Men
Scientifically speaking, pursuing a potential mate and overcoming obstacles along the way triggers a dopamine rush in the male brain. The satisfaction of each “achievement” (getting your number, setting up a date, etc.) makes him feel accomplished and validated as a man.
This concept might sound old-fashioned, but remember, primal urges still influence human behavior despite societal progress. And on an instinctual level, men crave challenge and conquest. Making them work to win you over appeals to this innate competitive drive.
Additionally, research shows that the harder someone works for a reward, the more they appreciate and value it. So if your partner invests serious effort chasing you, he’ll cherish your partnership exponentially when he finally “catches” you.
You’ll Discover If He’s Genuinely Interested
Another perk of activating “pursuit mode”? It weeds out time wasters who just enjoy female validation or want a casual fling.
How so? Well, lazy guys looking for a short-term ego boost won’t bother working for your affection. But men who recognize your worth and see long-term romantic potential will tenaciously chase you.
So instead of wasting months questioning a half-hearted suitor’s intentions, you’ll quickly gauge if he’s seriously interested when he rises to your chase “challenge.”
How To Get A Man To Chase You
Alright, we’ve covered why making him chase you is beneficial. Now let’s get into actionable tactics guaranteed to have him falling all over himself trying to gain your attention!
1. Stop Chasing Him
First things first, you must stop initiating contact, asking him out, and driving conversations if you want his chase instincts to kick in. I know pulling back feels counterintuitive when you like someone. But giving him breathing room is crucial for activating pursuit mode.
Don’t worry – he’ll notice your absence quickly if genuinely interested. Let him be the conversation starter from now on. And when he asks for a date, coyly say you’ll have to check your schedule first or reschedule existing plans.
This air of exclusivity makes you seem in-demand (aka – highly valuable). Just be careful not to appear too unavailable, or he may think you’ve lost interest entirely.
2. Have an Independent, Fulfilling Life
My clients sometimes neglect their needs, jobs, friends, and family to accommodate new paramours. Don’t make this mistake! Stop rearranging your whole schedule for a guy – especially early on.
Stay rooted in your own rewarding routines and relationships. Keep pursuing personal goals that light you up inside. When men encounter vibrant, self-sufficient women enjoying their lives, it’s wildly attractive.
Having solid confidence and direction means you don’t need a man…but sure wouldn’t mind some extra romance added to an already rich life. This balance of independence and openness to love pulls guys in.
3. Make Him Work For Your Attention
Even if totally crushing on someone, don’t hang on his every text or always say yes to dates. KINDLY let him know you have other commitments that week or respond to messages after a bit.
This isn’t about cruel manipulative games but rather about signaling self-respect and knowing your worth. Don’t drop everything just because he calls. Let this intriguing man slot himself into YOUR jam-packed calendar for once!
This air of being “hard to get” builds anticipation. When he can’t access you 24/7, it constructs psychological value/scarcity. He’ll obsess over when he’ll see your name light up his phone again.
Just don’t overplay it, or ultra-aloofness can kick him into thinking you’re disinterested altogether. Give SOME positive indicators to keep the momentum flowing.
4. Flirt Subtly But Effectively
Once establishing some healthy boundaries, don’t be afraid to rev engines either! Research shows the peaks and valleys of chasing generate undeniable chemistry. So smile, hold eye contact, gently touch his arm, playfully tease him about his cute quirks.
Light flirting proves reciprocal interest without giving away too much too fast. You want to slowly reel him in…then pull the lure slightly away again to keep tension crackling. It’s like a steamy game of cat and mouse.
Again, know your limits here based on personal values. You don’t have to push physical intimacy before you’re ready. But clever, PG-rated flirtation makes him eagerly anticipate taking things to the next level when you’re BOTH good and ready!
5. Have an Air of Mystery
As a relationship guru with insider intel into the male psyche, I can assure all women that an intriguing air of mystery is POTENT catnip for men.
Rather than spilling your whole life story right away, hold back some details. Don’t get too heavy discussing exes or ugly relationship wounds on early meetups.
Men relish unraveling a fascinating woman’s layers slowly over time. They love perceived depth and complexity in romantic partners. Calculate what you share and when to keep him continually wanting to unveil more.
Let him also piece together unique impressions of you from charming anecdotes and thoughtful date conversations. Protecting some sense of enigma builds urgent longing to slot more of your puzzle pieces together. But retain some mystery to keep chasing endlessly.
6. Make Other Men Notice You
This might seem counterintuitive, but making other guys notice you can motivate your target man to step up his chase efforts. Seeing competition automatically kicks stubborn machismo into higher gear.
You don’t need to flaunt other dates or romantic prospects. But letting desirable male friends/strangers flirt with you slightly OR organically meeting eligible bachelors through everyday social circles triggers his competitive streak.
Immediately he’ll double down on chasing you before another suitor swoops in. Primal possessive/protective instincts activate, making him urgently strategize how to WIN your heart above all others.
7. Create Exciting Date Memories Together
Great dates allow romantic feelings to blossom naturally. So say YES to fun invitations expanding your horizons! Mountain hikes, wine tastings, pottery classes, haunted houses, dancing lessons…choose adventurous activities sparking joy inside you both.
Not only do you get endorphins flowing being playful together, but these powerful shared experiences also strengthen emotional intimacy/bonds. Humans associate excitement with the person we experienced that euphoria with.
So he’ll start subconsciously associating YOU with all those feel-good vibes and thrilling adrenaline rushes. And crave chasing you endlessly to keep reliving that magical high!
This works conversely too. If you do more monotonous activities, he’ll associate YOU with boredom. So take action planning lively dates filled with psychological trigger moments making his heart race!
8. Show Your Passions
Speaking of psychological triggers…make passions in your life contagiously exciting! When you showcase hobbies, skills, or ambitions lighting you up inside, it’s wildly magnetic.
Maybe you started motorcycle racing lessons, adore antiquing, paint stunning abstract art, or work with endangered wildlife somehow. Tap back into long-lost interests or continue pursuing current ones with juicy gusto!
Your vibrant self-actualization pulls him into your fascinating world like a moth to a flame. Watching you courageously express your authentic self makes him value YOU more while also providing inspiration.
And he’ll urgently chase spending time together so he can keep witnessing your beautiful personalized flowering up close. Passion is definitely sexy!
9. Compliment Him
One mistake I see clients make – they expect men to chase them without giving ANY positive feedback. But momentarily stroking a guy’s ego keeps healthy momentum flowing.
Send a genuine compliment about his cute quirks, admirable talents, or thoughtful gestures. Specify what you appreciate to make it meaningful. Then pull back into coy aloofness again so he re-initiates chasing.
This peaked positivity ensures he feels acknowledged and validated. So he knows continuing advancing efforts won’t get ignored or seem totally futile. Careful encouragement at choice moments amps the chase fervor!
10. State Your Boundaries Firmly
Just because you want him chasing doesn’t mean accepting poor behavior! State clear boundaries if he pushes intimacy/commitment talks prematurely or continues fixating on exes.
Say something gently but firmly like, “It’s too soon for me to discuss past relationships in depth or make concrete plans for our future together. Let’s just have fun getting to know each other better in the present moment!”
If he tries brushing off your needs or gets overly entitled about physical escalation, put your foot completely down. Make sure he understands respecting your limits is mandatory for continuing any sort of relationship, platonic or romantic.
Standing up for yourself proves high self-worth and that you won’t tolerate games. If genuinely interested, he’ll chase you with more care/intentionality moving forward.
11. Avoid Neediness Or Insecurity
While showing human vulnerabilities draws healthy connections, constantly seeking validation repels love-worthy men. They don’t want partners overly emotionally dependent on them.
So don’t beg for compliments, chase reassurance, have dramatic outbursts, or spill every personal insecurity within five minutes. Managing anxiety and being responsible for your own happiness makes you more attractive.
If you seem totally fine without a boyfriend, he’ll think “Wow – she brings so much cool confidence and independence to the table. I need to up my game chasing someone so secure and self-composed!”
12. Let Your Feminine Mystique Shine
While independence is great, discover your innate feminine radiance too! Many men chasing modern career women unconsciously crave softer energies balancing out their hectic lives.
So tap into mysterious, magnetic goddess power through self-care rituals, dancing senses awake in nature, adorning yourself in silk robes, or whatever else helps you channel divine receptivity.
Then exude this grounded, sensual vibe on dates rather than just “going through machinated motions.” Let spontaneity and ephemeral moods cast a spell. When he witnesses you glowing in feminine flow, he’ll urgently want to bask in your presence.
Channeling these intuitive feminine superpowers makes you seem like an elusive magical muse he’s eager to woo and win over! So don’t underestimate your natural magnetism.
13. Have Standards – And Stick To Them!
As a relationship advisor, I remind clients NOT to sacrifice their standards just to enter a partnership. Compromising core values inevitably backfires later.
So identify EXACTLY what treatment you expect from an intimate partner regarding intimacy, communication, effort shown, integrity, growth mindset, etc.
Then stick to those standards! Kindly tell any suitor where your boundaries lie and that you require respectful care meeting those needs.
Having self-protective requirements filters players just seeking a conquest. But for men ready to lovingly commit and cherish you, rising to meet your standards becomes a thrilling, rewarding chase! One they’ll tenaciously undertake.
14. Stay True To Yourself
While adapting to please partners is common early on, never lose touch with your authentic soul essence. Eventually, a man chasing you must love your REAL quirks, passions and values without trying to change them.
Keep engaging hobbies, friend groups, and causes giving your life meaning. Check in if you’re starting to compromise core components of identity/integrity to “fit” some unrealistic mold.
You want a partner who cherishes exactly who you are, not some false facade molded to their whims. So stay rooted in self-acceptance, which builds the unshakable confidence igniting Grand Chase Gestures!
15. Let Chemistry & Intuition Guide You
Although tactical tips are handy guardrails, don’t ignore magical nuances unique to each courtship too! Pay attention to unspoken bonds, irresistible energies drawing you closer together, fuzzy intuition whispering “this is different.”
While early relationship stages have some “rules”…if it feels like you’re forcing behaviors not organically aligning with soul flow, pause and check whether you’re still acting authentically.
Follow your heart and body’s natural rhythms here as well. Does playfulness come easily conversing for hours? Do embraces melt tension away? Then keep following that magnetic flow drawing you together!
The most potent chase fuel is innate soulmate-level chemistry. So tune into subtler signals directing your next move here too.
Final Thoughts
I hope these research-backed tips help activate thrilling chase instincts in your love interests moving forward! Mastering this empowering skill teaches men you’re a one-of-a-kind catch worth fighting for.
Just remember, once “caught”, don’t let effort slide. Inspire his continual desire proving you over and over again through respect, captivating companionship and celebrating exactly who you are.
The chase is just an opening act to the real main event – forging an extraordinary relationship with attentive care, trust and passion lasting the long haul.
Let me know how these go-getter dating techniques work amplifying your romantic satisfaction! I’m cheering you on implement this advice towards more fulfilling, mutually-cherishing connections.